Confidence. According to Webster's it's, "A feeling of self assurance arising from appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities." Confidence is talked about a lot in performing, "Sing confidently," "Walk with confidence," "Be confident," but how do you do that? What if you don't feel so self assured? What if you're scared..or intimidated..or unsure?
I had a conversation with a student yesterday that prompted this post. She's 15, a good singer and performer, and I had previously encouraged her to audition for a summer show. She brought in her chosen audition music, but before we had a chance to run through it she told me she wasn't sure she wanted to audition. I asked why, and she said that another girl at her school..one who gets a lot of leads..told her how competitive the audition would be and "no offense" but "are you really ready for that?"
Any chance my student had at feeling self assured, of feeling confident in her own abilities, went right out the window. Clearly she just wasn't good enough. My response was this:
1) She's correct. There will be better singers than you. There will always be someone better than you. There will always be someone better than her. There will always be someone better than me. It isn't about being "better" it's about being "right." And the only person who has any say about how "right" you are is the one with the vision for the show, the director.
2) The only thing you can control in this whole process is your audition. Now, I don't give meaningless praise, if I think a student isn't ready for an audition or performance I will be the first person to tell them. But 9 out of 10 times that conversation isn't about how "good" of a singer they are, it's about how much they've prepared or haven't prepared. Know your piece: character, context, and culture. Know the show you're auditioning for. Know all of the music you could POSSIBLY be asked to sing at a call back. Michael Jackson said..and yes, I got this from The Voice..that if you're prepared you have no reason to be nervous. So prepare.
3) Know what you're good at. Auditioning isn't about showing off the thing you can get right once in awhile when you're home alone and in the shower. It's about showing off what you do best, and that's awfully hard to do if you don't know what that is. And you are good at something. You are "better" at something that is uniquely you than anyone else is.
4) Every audition is a chance to get better at auditioning. Auditioning is scary. It's putting your self and your hard work out on the line in front of people you don't know and asking them to like you, to choose you. It's like giving your long time crush your whole heart and then waiting to see what they'll do with it. But the more you do it, the better you become. Your legs start shaking less...the hives you break out in from stress happen less frequently, and yes I'm speaking from personal experience, but you can't tame the beast if you don't face it. You also can't get cast in show if you don't audition. Mmmhmm.
A college professor of mine told me that you should walk into every audition room like you are the best singer in the room. It doesn't matter if that's true. And you might not want to tell anyone else you are thinking that. But you need to think that way. You need to appreciate your abilities, because if you don't, how in the world is anyone else supposed to?
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Careful the Things You Say.....
Imagine you are in choir class. It's one of your favorite classes, a haven from math and English and science, where you don't have to sit hunched over a desk taking notes. Imagine you love to sing. You don't want to grow up to be a singer, or maybe you do, but you love it just the same. The way it makes you feel to be surrounded by voices all working together, learning together, you are a part of a machine and that machine makes music. It expresses emotions. It's complicated..and easy..and dark..and uplifting all at the same time. It's freeing and it's fun.
Imagine your choir teacher, your leader, the giver of tools that make 10 or 20 or 90 voices all work together as one. You respect them..you listen to them (most of the time)..maybe you even want to be them when you grow up. Imagine that person pulling you aside, or holding you after class, or calling you into their office to tell you that you're not a very good singer...that maybe you should think about taking band next year..maybe just 'mouth the words.' Now imagine you're 12 years old.
Now you're 35 and you haven't sung since. Not in choir. Not in the shower. Not even in the car when you're alone. You're not very good, so why try. This might sound ridiculous. How can one person..and I use choir teacher as a generalization, this could be any kind of educator or parent or authority figure..make such an impact? Why not just tell them where they could shove their opinion and continue to do the thing that made you so happy? How could one comment last for all those years? Sticks and stones right?
I wanted to write this post because I feel so strongly that it is our job as educators not to tell a student what they can't do, but to teach them how they can. Stephen Sondheim said it best, "Careful the things you say, children will listen," and it's true. I wish I could say that the above scenario was made up to make my point, but it is true. It's a story I've heard from numerous students, mostly adults, who come to me after years of not singing because someone told them they weren't very good. Now they're grown, and they're wondering if maybe..just maybe..they could sing again? "I know I'm not very good...I don't really sing..I don't have a very strong voice," I've heard them all. And almost without fail each of these "not very good" singers, were pretty good.
Why are we so affected by negative comments? We're hard wired to be. In a NY Times article Clifford Nass, a communications professor at Stanford, says, "The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres. Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones." In the same article Roy F. Baumeister, a professor of social psychology at Florida State says, "Bad emotions, bad parents, and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones." And the bad memories stick around. Professor Baumeister did a series of interviews with children and adults up to 50 years old about childhood memories and found more unpleasant memories than pleasant ones, even among people who said they had a happy childhood.
So what do we do? We criticize constructively, and sparingly. This ties in very well to Jeannette LoVetri's method of Somatic Voicework (tm), which I study and teach. Jeannette rarely says, "no" she says, "that's not quite working..lets try this," she doesn't tell a singer they're off pitch, she adjusts the exercise to help them find the pitch naturally. Students are far less nervous. Muscles stay far more relaxed. The intimidation factor of teacher looming over student, the judgement, dissolves. You can sing, let me show you how.
Heaping meaningless praise is not helpful either. I am lucky enough to be the child of a world renown and respected educational consultant, Terry Doyle, who makes the point in much of his work to say that you shouldn't tell a student how smart they are. Why? Well..the student you're telling is most likely 1) quick to pick things up 2) hasn't come across something they can't pick up quickly...yet. So what happens when they do? They don't think they're smart anymore. They give up. They're just "not good" at whatever it is. Instead we give meaningful praise, "Look how hard you worked on that," "Look how well you focused," "Look how much time you spent studying."
It's the same with singing. If you tell a singer that they're "great" they're probably 1) a pretty good singer naturally and 2) they don't have to try very hard to be great...yet. What happens when they come across more challenging repertoire or something stylistically different? When their voice develops and changes? When they all of a sudden can't pick it up so quickly? They think they aren't a very good singer anymore. Trust me. They do. I've been there. So instead try focusing on the work. "Wow..I can tell you've been working your head voice." "Did you hear how high your belt went today, what have you been doing?" Praise meaningfully and often.
In conclusion, words have weight, and negative words weigh more than positive ones hands down. "Careful the things you say, children will listen," but children will also absorb, and remember. We need to be the protectors of our students' voices, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
NY Times Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/your-money/why-people-remember-negative-events-more-than-positive-ones.html?_r=0
Terry Doyle, Learner Centered Teaching: https://learnercenteredteaching.wordpress.com/
Jeannette LoVetri, Somatic Voicework: www.somaticvoicework.com
Imagine your choir teacher, your leader, the giver of tools that make 10 or 20 or 90 voices all work together as one. You respect them..you listen to them (most of the time)..maybe you even want to be them when you grow up. Imagine that person pulling you aside, or holding you after class, or calling you into their office to tell you that you're not a very good singer...that maybe you should think about taking band next year..maybe just 'mouth the words.' Now imagine you're 12 years old.
Now you're 35 and you haven't sung since. Not in choir. Not in the shower. Not even in the car when you're alone. You're not very good, so why try. This might sound ridiculous. How can one person..and I use choir teacher as a generalization, this could be any kind of educator or parent or authority figure..make such an impact? Why not just tell them where they could shove their opinion and continue to do the thing that made you so happy? How could one comment last for all those years? Sticks and stones right?
I wanted to write this post because I feel so strongly that it is our job as educators not to tell a student what they can't do, but to teach them how they can. Stephen Sondheim said it best, "Careful the things you say, children will listen," and it's true. I wish I could say that the above scenario was made up to make my point, but it is true. It's a story I've heard from numerous students, mostly adults, who come to me after years of not singing because someone told them they weren't very good. Now they're grown, and they're wondering if maybe..just maybe..they could sing again? "I know I'm not very good...I don't really sing..I don't have a very strong voice," I've heard them all. And almost without fail each of these "not very good" singers, were pretty good.
Why are we so affected by negative comments? We're hard wired to be. In a NY Times article Clifford Nass, a communications professor at Stanford, says, "The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres. Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones." In the same article Roy F. Baumeister, a professor of social psychology at Florida State says, "Bad emotions, bad parents, and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones." And the bad memories stick around. Professor Baumeister did a series of interviews with children and adults up to 50 years old about childhood memories and found more unpleasant memories than pleasant ones, even among people who said they had a happy childhood.
So what do we do? We criticize constructively, and sparingly. This ties in very well to Jeannette LoVetri's method of Somatic Voicework (tm), which I study and teach. Jeannette rarely says, "no" she says, "that's not quite working..lets try this," she doesn't tell a singer they're off pitch, she adjusts the exercise to help them find the pitch naturally. Students are far less nervous. Muscles stay far more relaxed. The intimidation factor of teacher looming over student, the judgement, dissolves. You can sing, let me show you how.
Heaping meaningless praise is not helpful either. I am lucky enough to be the child of a world renown and respected educational consultant, Terry Doyle, who makes the point in much of his work to say that you shouldn't tell a student how smart they are. Why? Well..the student you're telling is most likely 1) quick to pick things up 2) hasn't come across something they can't pick up quickly...yet. So what happens when they do? They don't think they're smart anymore. They give up. They're just "not good" at whatever it is. Instead we give meaningful praise, "Look how hard you worked on that," "Look how well you focused," "Look how much time you spent studying."
It's the same with singing. If you tell a singer that they're "great" they're probably 1) a pretty good singer naturally and 2) they don't have to try very hard to be great...yet. What happens when they come across more challenging repertoire or something stylistically different? When their voice develops and changes? When they all of a sudden can't pick it up so quickly? They think they aren't a very good singer anymore. Trust me. They do. I've been there. So instead try focusing on the work. "Wow..I can tell you've been working your head voice." "Did you hear how high your belt went today, what have you been doing?" Praise meaningfully and often.
In conclusion, words have weight, and negative words weigh more than positive ones hands down. "Careful the things you say, children will listen," but children will also absorb, and remember. We need to be the protectors of our students' voices, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
NY Times Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/your-money/why-people-remember-negative-events-more-than-positive-ones.html?_r=0
Terry Doyle, Learner Centered Teaching: https://learnercenteredteaching.wordpress.com/
Jeannette LoVetri, Somatic Voicework: www.somaticvoicework.com
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Lets Talk About Vocal Health, Baby.
At this moment 6.6% of people have a voice problem, over the course of a lifetime 29.9% will have one, and 40% of those problems arise in people who are occupational voice users: customer service reps, sales reps, service industry professionals, clergy, teachers etc... If you use your voice to bring home the bacon, it's time to start thinking about vocal health.
When I was in college studying Musical Theatre my vocal health routine consisted of drinking water before a voice lesson, audition, or performance and...well, that's about it. I knew of students who took their vocal health more seriously, Vocal Performance majors who lived in the spotlight on the opera stage, but on the fringe of social society. They didn't drink, the glory that was the corner party store where you could buy 3 bottles of neon colored Boone's Farm for $9, was completely lost on them. They didn't sing wildly out of range, and quite often out of tune, karaoke on Wednesday nights and return home to eat greasy Papa John's pizza right before going to bed. What was wrong with them?
I have since reformed..now I drink wine the color of actual grapes...and I've learned a thing or two about vocal health. The first thing is that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him stay hydrated. More appropriately you can tell a voice user how to care for their voice, but it doesn't mean they're going to do it. Do I expect my college students to sit quietly at home and miss out on the wonders of $3 bottles of Wild Blue Hurricane Explosion? No. But I'd hope, for their sake and the sake of the person who shares their bathroom, that they'd add a chaser of good old H2O. Do I expect the occupational voice users I see to not have a cup of coffee or 2 in the morning? No, and if I did my Starbucks gold card status and in studio Keurig would certainly raise some eyebrows. But I'd hope that they'd drink a glass of water for each cup of Joe, and cut it down to 1 or 2 cups a day. In case you haven't noticed, water is key..duh..but there are some less obvious vocal health issues to be aware of.
The number one cause of vocal problems is Phonotrauma: a Repetitive Stress Injury. Too loud for too long, and incorrect technique. The vocal folds can take a lot of stress, a statement proven by Steven Tyler's fabulous and long career, but like any muscle if over used, or misused, there will eventually be problems. Now you might think, "I'm a teacher/server/attorney/student..I'm not belting out 'Dream On' (ok sometimes in the shower)..I don't shoot heroine (ok only after a really hard day..kidding) so what's the problem?" Ever bar tend or wait tables in a noisy restaurant? Grow up in a noisy family where you had to yell to be heard? Give a lecture or presentation without a microphone? These are the kinds of everyday occurrences that can add up to vocal issues over time.
The vocal folds are muscles, incredible muscles, muscles the size of your thumb nail. The actual muscle is covered by a jello-like layer with a layer of mucous on top of that. When air passes through them they vibrate, the beginning of the sounds we make, and the louder and more aggressive the sound, the harder the vibration. Over time, with continuous misuse, they will want to protect themselves swelling and thickening the jello-like layer, forming blisters, and eventually callouses, vocal nodules or nodes. And if you've seen Pitch Perfect (don't deny it) you know the gravity of this situation.
The second most common vocal health issue: acid reflux. Now I'm not talking about heartburn, the Cleveland Clinic says that 50% of the people with laryngeal/pharyngeal reflux (LPR) don't experience heartburn. So what am I talking about? Wake up hoarse? Need to clear your throat a lot? Chronic cough? Difficulty swallowing? Could be LPR. So what do you do? Well there's good news and bad news. The good news is, our friends at the Cleveland Clinic say that most cases of LPR can be managed without medical intervention. The bad news is you're going to be saying good bye to your reason for living. Do Not..and I quote..
When I was in college studying Musical Theatre my vocal health routine consisted of drinking water before a voice lesson, audition, or performance and...well, that's about it. I knew of students who took their vocal health more seriously, Vocal Performance majors who lived in the spotlight on the opera stage, but on the fringe of social society. They didn't drink, the glory that was the corner party store where you could buy 3 bottles of neon colored Boone's Farm for $9, was completely lost on them. They didn't sing wildly out of range, and quite often out of tune, karaoke on Wednesday nights and return home to eat greasy Papa John's pizza right before going to bed. What was wrong with them?
I have since reformed..now I drink wine the color of actual grapes...and I've learned a thing or two about vocal health. The first thing is that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him stay hydrated. More appropriately you can tell a voice user how to care for their voice, but it doesn't mean they're going to do it. Do I expect my college students to sit quietly at home and miss out on the wonders of $3 bottles of Wild Blue Hurricane Explosion? No. But I'd hope, for their sake and the sake of the person who shares their bathroom, that they'd add a chaser of good old H2O. Do I expect the occupational voice users I see to not have a cup of coffee or 2 in the morning? No, and if I did my Starbucks gold card status and in studio Keurig would certainly raise some eyebrows. But I'd hope that they'd drink a glass of water for each cup of Joe, and cut it down to 1 or 2 cups a day. In case you haven't noticed, water is key..duh..but there are some less obvious vocal health issues to be aware of.
The number one cause of vocal problems is Phonotrauma: a Repetitive Stress Injury. Too loud for too long, and incorrect technique. The vocal folds can take a lot of stress, a statement proven by Steven Tyler's fabulous and long career, but like any muscle if over used, or misused, there will eventually be problems. Now you might think, "I'm a teacher/server/attorney/student..I'm not belting out 'Dream On' (ok sometimes in the shower)..I don't shoot heroine (ok only after a really hard day..kidding) so what's the problem?" Ever bar tend or wait tables in a noisy restaurant? Grow up in a noisy family where you had to yell to be heard? Give a lecture or presentation without a microphone? These are the kinds of everyday occurrences that can add up to vocal issues over time.
The vocal folds are muscles, incredible muscles, muscles the size of your thumb nail. The actual muscle is covered by a jello-like layer with a layer of mucous on top of that. When air passes through them they vibrate, the beginning of the sounds we make, and the louder and more aggressive the sound, the harder the vibration. Over time, with continuous misuse, they will want to protect themselves swelling and thickening the jello-like layer, forming blisters, and eventually callouses, vocal nodules or nodes. And if you've seen Pitch Perfect (don't deny it) you know the gravity of this situation.
The second most common vocal health issue: acid reflux. Now I'm not talking about heartburn, the Cleveland Clinic says that 50% of the people with laryngeal/pharyngeal reflux (LPR) don't experience heartburn. So what am I talking about? Wake up hoarse? Need to clear your throat a lot? Chronic cough? Difficulty swallowing? Could be LPR. So what do you do? Well there's good news and bad news. The good news is, our friends at the Cleveland Clinic say that most cases of LPR can be managed without medical intervention. The bad news is you're going to be saying good bye to your reason for living. Do Not..and I quote..
- Eat Acidic, Spicy, and Fatty Foods: Goodbye French Fries. Adios Jalapeno Poppers. Ciao Marinara.
- Drink Alcohol: Whhhhyyyyyy
- Smoke Tobacco: Duh. And regardless of LPR, just don't, black lungs are so unattractive.
- Drink Caffeine-Containing Beverages: Venti hot water w. a side of Advil please
- Eat Chocolate: I'm not even going to comment.
- Wear Tight or Binding Clothing: Well..without the fried food, beer, and chocolate maybe I won't need the Spanx..silver lining
- Become Overly Stressed - Learn Tools to Help Reduce and Manage Stress: But wine and chocolate were my tools....
See, I wasn't kidding. Joy. Sucking. So what can you do? Well, unless you're ready to go whole hog and become a plain rice eating..herbal tea drinking..I meditate twice a day and said goodbye to the too tight spandex top that makes my boobs/pecs look awesome and guarantees a free drink (oh wait I don't drink anymore) picture of LPR health, here are a few ideas:
Hydration:
- 1/2 your body weight in oz. per day
- "Wet Foods" (soup, smoothies, etc..) count
- Moderate your Caffeine/Alcohol and Compensate with Water
Humidity:
- Use a Saline Rinse or Spray - I HIGHLY recommend NeilMed's sinus rinse, there's a handy squirt bottle which doesn't require the acrobatics of a Neti Pot and works just as well
- Use a Humidifier at Night and Clean it Regularly - A friend of mine swears by the AeroSwiss brand, it turns her bedroom into a rain forest, aim for 30% humidity
- Take "Steam Breaks" during the day: long, hot showers, inhale the steam while cooking your sauceless pasta, or just microwave some water and inhale the steam
- Breathe Through Your Nose - Natures Humidifier
HHHH (as in the sound you make when you take a relaxed breath):
- Breathe deeply and properly
- Stretch for relaxation
- Warm Up AND Cool Down - when you're singing AND speaking. Don't expect your voice to perform at a top level without giving it a chance to warm up. Do you think Usain Bolt sprints without stretching first? I think not. *Stay Tuned for a blog onWarm Up/Cool Down Exercises for singers and speakers*
And finally, be an advocate for your own vocal health. Avoid noisy environments when you can, and if you find yourself in one, keep in mind how loud you are speaking. If it's dry, particularly on an airplane or in a hotel room, put a damp cloth over your face or over the heating/AC unit. If you're sick increase hydration, and get enough sleep.
Of course I am neither a Speech Language Pathologist nor a Laryngologist but all this information was taken from both of those sources. I didn't make it up and I'm not claiming it as my own, except for the part about the Boone's Farm, that was me. If you're experiencing vocal problems please contact an SLP or ENT and if you can't find one shoot me a message at doylevocalstudio@gmail.com and I'll put you in touch.
"All I have is a voice." - W.H. Auden
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Finding Home: A Journey
This weekend I had the great opportunity to attend the Open Mind/Open Body conference in Chicago lead by Jeannette LoVetri, creator of Somatic Voicework (tm) the method of teaching I trained in and use with my students. I was so excited to check back in with Jeanie, I had the great pleasure of going through all three levels of SVW training at the Shenandoah Conservatory summer 2013, and I was looking forward to revisiting skills and learning new ones. The conference did not disappoint. In addition to Jeanie we worked with Speech Language Pathologists and Therapists from the University of Illinois Chicago hospital system, discussing the necessary relationship between singer, vocal coach, SLP, and laryngologist.
One of the things that Jeanie focused on was finding "home," for a singer: the place where your voice naturally lives, without style, pressure, or "trying." This concept resonated with me, not only because I got to be a guinea pig for some of her exercises, but also because it's something I've struggled with for a long time. A few of the teachers who had worked with Jeanie shared their stories, and in this blog I'd like to share mine, in the hopes that it will resonate with my students the way Jeanie's finding "home" resonated with me.
If you're reading this and have gotten this far then there's a fair chance you're a singer and I'm guessing that your story started something like mine. I was a born singer and I was pretty good. There are home videos of me singing whole songs in tune before I could form my "R's" and "L's" properly. My first piano teacher, after hearing my rendition of "Oh What A Beautiful Morning," became much more interested in hearing me sing than teaching me to play..good thing my second piano teacher didn't or I would probably have never learned, thanks Mrs. Wismer. I started voice lessons in middle school with a family friend who taught voice at a university and was impressed with my sound at 12 years old.
I went to music camp and was awarded the big scholarship given to one person in the whole voice department to come back to the camp for free the next year. I got a supporting part in the school musical as a sophomore when I decided to audition on a whim. And my senior year when my choir director brought in a professional singer friend to work with us he commented that he'd "see me on Broadway someday." In other words..probably like most kids who grow up to study singing..I was pretty good.
Then I went to college, into a fledgling Musical Theatre program created within a very strong school of classical music and theatre. I figured things would continue as they had, and at first they did, I got a pretty big role in the university musical as a sophomore and was reassured, I was pretty good. Then I had my jury...and everything changed. The voice faculty didn't like what I was doing.
To this day I can't remember exactly what it was I was doing so incorrectly, but the fact that for one of the first times in my life someone didn't like my voice, that I remember clear as a bell. I worked with my vocal coach, a great teacher and mentor, to try and right my wrongs. Though to be honest, I didn't really know what was so wrong with what I was doing. It felt comfortable to me. It felt like what I had always done. This was complicated even more when I auditioned for the opera, on a whim with a song I liked to sing but hadn't practiced, only to be told afterwards by the same professor who had critiqued my jury so harshly that I was "finally starting to hear them." What?
I finished college feeling like I was a good singer who was a better actor with really great comedic timing. Maybe more an actor who sings rather than a singer. When putting my resume together and filling in Voice Type as "Mezzo/Belter," I was told "You know you don't belt, right?" Oh, ok. I guess I don't. I don't mean to harshly critique my alma mater, I had a great college experience, with a variety of performing experiences from Puccini to Moliere to acapella. But I didn't leave feeling as confident about my voice as when I entered, I didn't feel special anymore as a singer.
Fast forward a few years and I'm in Los Angeles, studying with a teacher who told me, "Of course you can belt. Here's how," and proceeded to teach me to sing in my chest register and only my chest register come hell or high water, or more appropriately come pushing, pulling, and some circque du soleil like vowel maneuvers. I didn't question it because 1) this man worked with big name singers, people with seven figure record contracts and sold out amphitheatres 2) I liked it. I liked having a big, loud sound. I started thinking that this was how I should be singing and my natural voice slowly became my "other" voice, the one I used at home in the shower but never in singing lessons or at auditions.
Fast forward again and I'm back in Michigan starting my studio and beginning to perform again. It went well on both fronts. I got the lead in the first show I auditioned for, and I loved teaching. The show was traditional musical theatre and I got to use my "natural" voice. I was praised. I felt like my singing was "pretty good" again, and I could not have been more confused. My voice felt..weird. I could belt a high F. I could hit a high C. But there were moments when Bflat 4 felt swallowed. I could sing the D# at the top of "Here I Am" but I couldn't finish "On the Steps of the Palace."
As I mentioned before I attended the SVW training at Shenandoah and it helped, a lot. I learned to balance my registers. I learned what pure head register was. I learned that my "natural" voice, a mix, actually had a lot of chest in it and I didn't need to pull full chest to make the high contemporary notes happen. Things got better. I sang "You Don't Know this Man" from Parade for Jeanie on the last day of the institute and was asked afterwards if I was going to give up teaching and move to NYC. I went home and got more leading roles, mostly traditional mezzo roles, and I made them work, reverting to old habits. I was scared of middle notes, so I laid on the belt rather than risk letting them crack. I had this very weird conglomeration of note qualities that I configured into a somewhat smooth range, it worked, but it did it feel totally authentic? No. Was I still confused about what was going on with my voice? Yes.
Today, yes just today, we were doing a master class with Jeanie and she asked for someone who had a problem they'd like to work on. She, along with the SLP's, had spent a good deal of time talking about speaking where you want to sing: if a student comes in with a low raspy speaking voice, they're probably not going to have a great head register. It sparked a question in me so I raised my hand. I have been told, on numerous occasions by directors and musical directors that my voice is too bright. To "lower" my speaking voice to "bring down" my singing voice..which I can do..kind of..I think. But then I'll catch myself singing "low" and still talking "bright" and I know it doesn't match. Jeanie said she had similar comments when she was younger and invited me to come down and work on it.
We spent 20 minutes or so focusing on warming my tone..mostly on relaxing the back of my tongue and the muscles in my neck. At first I went way out of tune. Jeanie explained that the mechanism, the larynx, was so used to being in one position when it moved to another it didn't know what was going on. We kept at it and the pitch improved, and then all of a sudden, it was easy. It was free. It felt like the sound I was supposed to be making.
I got in my car after the conference and immediately wanted to try this voice out. I did some slides, starting in chest and moving up to my high notes, and there was not a speed bump to be found. I started singing along to Pandora, Get Out & Stay Out from 9 to 5, came on. I relaxed the base of my tongue, I lifted my chin, I opened my mouth, I didn't pull or manipulate, I didn't use overwhelming nasality, and the sound came out, even the key change at the end, easily, freely, warmly. Then I burst into tears.
I tell my students that the female voice doesn't get to be what it's going to be until you're about 30. Well, I'm newly 31 and until today I didn't know what my voice was. The concept of finding "home" makes so much sense but for me as a performer and as a teacher it got lost in the never ending cycle of preparing for auditions..fixing problems..learning new repertoire...trying new styles. We live in an age of immediate gratification, and there are a lot of quick fixes in singing, and I'm not saying they're all bad, but if you don't have "home" first, if you don't know the authentic, unique, precious sound that you and you alone make, you can get very lost. I learned a lot of things on my journey and I will keep learning and trying and failing and trying again. But as they say, it's nice to go away, but it's even better to come home.
One of the things that Jeanie focused on was finding "home," for a singer: the place where your voice naturally lives, without style, pressure, or "trying." This concept resonated with me, not only because I got to be a guinea pig for some of her exercises, but also because it's something I've struggled with for a long time. A few of the teachers who had worked with Jeanie shared their stories, and in this blog I'd like to share mine, in the hopes that it will resonate with my students the way Jeanie's finding "home" resonated with me.
If you're reading this and have gotten this far then there's a fair chance you're a singer and I'm guessing that your story started something like mine. I was a born singer and I was pretty good. There are home videos of me singing whole songs in tune before I could form my "R's" and "L's" properly. My first piano teacher, after hearing my rendition of "Oh What A Beautiful Morning," became much more interested in hearing me sing than teaching me to play..good thing my second piano teacher didn't or I would probably have never learned, thanks Mrs. Wismer. I started voice lessons in middle school with a family friend who taught voice at a university and was impressed with my sound at 12 years old.
I went to music camp and was awarded the big scholarship given to one person in the whole voice department to come back to the camp for free the next year. I got a supporting part in the school musical as a sophomore when I decided to audition on a whim. And my senior year when my choir director brought in a professional singer friend to work with us he commented that he'd "see me on Broadway someday." In other words..probably like most kids who grow up to study singing..I was pretty good.
Then I went to college, into a fledgling Musical Theatre program created within a very strong school of classical music and theatre. I figured things would continue as they had, and at first they did, I got a pretty big role in the university musical as a sophomore and was reassured, I was pretty good. Then I had my jury...and everything changed. The voice faculty didn't like what I was doing.
To this day I can't remember exactly what it was I was doing so incorrectly, but the fact that for one of the first times in my life someone didn't like my voice, that I remember clear as a bell. I worked with my vocal coach, a great teacher and mentor, to try and right my wrongs. Though to be honest, I didn't really know what was so wrong with what I was doing. It felt comfortable to me. It felt like what I had always done. This was complicated even more when I auditioned for the opera, on a whim with a song I liked to sing but hadn't practiced, only to be told afterwards by the same professor who had critiqued my jury so harshly that I was "finally starting to hear them." What?
I finished college feeling like I was a good singer who was a better actor with really great comedic timing. Maybe more an actor who sings rather than a singer. When putting my resume together and filling in Voice Type as "Mezzo/Belter," I was told "You know you don't belt, right?" Oh, ok. I guess I don't. I don't mean to harshly critique my alma mater, I had a great college experience, with a variety of performing experiences from Puccini to Moliere to acapella. But I didn't leave feeling as confident about my voice as when I entered, I didn't feel special anymore as a singer.
Fast forward a few years and I'm in Los Angeles, studying with a teacher who told me, "Of course you can belt. Here's how," and proceeded to teach me to sing in my chest register and only my chest register come hell or high water, or more appropriately come pushing, pulling, and some circque du soleil like vowel maneuvers. I didn't question it because 1) this man worked with big name singers, people with seven figure record contracts and sold out amphitheatres 2) I liked it. I liked having a big, loud sound. I started thinking that this was how I should be singing and my natural voice slowly became my "other" voice, the one I used at home in the shower but never in singing lessons or at auditions.
Fast forward again and I'm back in Michigan starting my studio and beginning to perform again. It went well on both fronts. I got the lead in the first show I auditioned for, and I loved teaching. The show was traditional musical theatre and I got to use my "natural" voice. I was praised. I felt like my singing was "pretty good" again, and I could not have been more confused. My voice felt..weird. I could belt a high F. I could hit a high C. But there were moments when Bflat 4 felt swallowed. I could sing the D# at the top of "Here I Am" but I couldn't finish "On the Steps of the Palace."
As I mentioned before I attended the SVW training at Shenandoah and it helped, a lot. I learned to balance my registers. I learned what pure head register was. I learned that my "natural" voice, a mix, actually had a lot of chest in it and I didn't need to pull full chest to make the high contemporary notes happen. Things got better. I sang "You Don't Know this Man" from Parade for Jeanie on the last day of the institute and was asked afterwards if I was going to give up teaching and move to NYC. I went home and got more leading roles, mostly traditional mezzo roles, and I made them work, reverting to old habits. I was scared of middle notes, so I laid on the belt rather than risk letting them crack. I had this very weird conglomeration of note qualities that I configured into a somewhat smooth range, it worked, but it did it feel totally authentic? No. Was I still confused about what was going on with my voice? Yes.
Today, yes just today, we were doing a master class with Jeanie and she asked for someone who had a problem they'd like to work on. She, along with the SLP's, had spent a good deal of time talking about speaking where you want to sing: if a student comes in with a low raspy speaking voice, they're probably not going to have a great head register. It sparked a question in me so I raised my hand. I have been told, on numerous occasions by directors and musical directors that my voice is too bright. To "lower" my speaking voice to "bring down" my singing voice..which I can do..kind of..I think. But then I'll catch myself singing "low" and still talking "bright" and I know it doesn't match. Jeanie said she had similar comments when she was younger and invited me to come down and work on it.
We spent 20 minutes or so focusing on warming my tone..mostly on relaxing the back of my tongue and the muscles in my neck. At first I went way out of tune. Jeanie explained that the mechanism, the larynx, was so used to being in one position when it moved to another it didn't know what was going on. We kept at it and the pitch improved, and then all of a sudden, it was easy. It was free. It felt like the sound I was supposed to be making.
I got in my car after the conference and immediately wanted to try this voice out. I did some slides, starting in chest and moving up to my high notes, and there was not a speed bump to be found. I started singing along to Pandora, Get Out & Stay Out from 9 to 5, came on. I relaxed the base of my tongue, I lifted my chin, I opened my mouth, I didn't pull or manipulate, I didn't use overwhelming nasality, and the sound came out, even the key change at the end, easily, freely, warmly. Then I burst into tears.
I tell my students that the female voice doesn't get to be what it's going to be until you're about 30. Well, I'm newly 31 and until today I didn't know what my voice was. The concept of finding "home" makes so much sense but for me as a performer and as a teacher it got lost in the never ending cycle of preparing for auditions..fixing problems..learning new repertoire...trying new styles. We live in an age of immediate gratification, and there are a lot of quick fixes in singing, and I'm not saying they're all bad, but if you don't have "home" first, if you don't know the authentic, unique, precious sound that you and you alone make, you can get very lost. I learned a lot of things on my journey and I will keep learning and trying and failing and trying again. But as they say, it's nice to go away, but it's even better to come home.
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